Ahoy and avast to all me mates and scurvy crew out
there! This be a day o’ good cheer and
the smell o’ salt, she be thick in tha wind’s eye. Arrrr, that be meanin’ only one thing; that
it be time for me to plunder and pillage ‘cross tha seven seas ‘n’ back again!
Sure as it black’s tha white o’ me eyes, I am a man o’ sweet
trade and tha joys from this holiday be better than a cannonball to tha gut!
‘Twould be me honor if ye were to join me in changin’ yer speech. But alas, sure as I understand it be not easy
to pick up a new language, I be here to offer me hand in joining me on such a
venture:
Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day and I hope
that you join me on this day to choose the most scurvy words you can find when
you are with your friends, family and co-workers. I understand it can be difficult to do such a
thing and I’ve had many a friend, myself included, that has found themselves at
a loss of words on this day. So I am
here to help!
It doesn’t have to be that hard, but if you are not careful
it could easily end up being a day that you just say ‘aarrrrr’ a lot. While there is certainly nothing wrong with
this, I thought I would offer my expertise to anyone that would like to have a
richer experience on this day.
While Arrrr, Argh or Yargh (depending on what pirate dialect
you wish to speak) is a wonderful catch all term to use in just about any occasion,
all it takes is a few other terms (most of them you already know) and you are
good to go!
 |
| Do the Navy Seals signals, come on! . . . I only know the Air Force signals |
Probably the simplest thing you can do is replace ‘is’ and ‘am’
with ‘be’; this be a quick and dirty way
to show that I be a man of the seas!
The next easiest thing you can do is to drop the last letter
in certain word; especially the ‘g’ in present participles and gerunds. Arrrr, I be sailin’ for the high seas in the
morrow.
This is also your chance to break out any nautical terms
that you know. When your boss tells you
to do something say, ‘Aye, Aye sir’. If you are pointing out something to the
left say port or port side and anything to the right is the starboard or
starboard side. So if Beyonce was a
pirate she would say, ‘to the port, to the port, all that you be ownin’ be in a
box to the port.’
 |
| A pirate does not <3 ANYTHING! |
 |
| Nevermind, I'll pillage me own ring! Arrr! |
Another easy thing to do is to call anything that you are
eating or about to eat breadfruit or hard tack.
Yes, the sticklers out there will tell you that breadfruit and hard tack
are specific items of food and to call everything you eat one of these terms
would be like calling steak, potatoes, green beans and yams all oranges. But to them I say, lighten up. This is just
for fun. If you take everything so
serious you are likely to die of a brain aneurysm. However, if you take what
these people say to heart than ‘belly timber’ is a good catch all term for
food.
The final touches to any good pirate speak is the use of a
couple catch phrases or sayings. Take,
for instance, the term I used in my intro, ‘blacks the white of my eyes’. All
that means is that I am insisting to you all that I am telling you the
truth. But it sounds much cooler to say,
sure as it blacks tha white’s o’ me eyes, I be prepared to party like a pirate!
So here are a few that you can use courtesy of The Pirate Dictionary, by TerryBreverton:
Paddy’s hurricane: calm, or quiet
Irish pennants: The results of lazy work
Born under a threepenny-halfpenny blanket: worthless
Piss money against the wall: To waste money on alcohol (As
if that is possible!)
So with that, it be me sincerest hope that ye all have a
most pleasant o’ days on this most sacred and holy o’ days ‘n’ may tha wind be
always at yer back!
‘til next we be meetin’
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