I've Seen The Future - Lotto Numbers For Sale

9/19/16 - 9/20/16

Anybody that has known my for over a year, can likely attest to my affinity toward looting and pillaging . . . No? Hmm, oh yeah, that’s not it. My affinity is not in looting and pillaging; it is talking like that is what I like to do! Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, or at least it was until that International Date Line so rudely changed it on me!

When I found out that they day I was going to lose on this trip because of the date line I was crushed, to say the least. Oh the irony! The day I enjoy the most is the one day they decide to skip this year . . . at least for me. Well technically that is not true. Technically I did get to experience about 8 hours of ITLAP before they so rudely changed the date on me! But I slept through at least half of those 8 hours.

And me without my Pirate ensemble.

Hope everyone else enjoyed the day!

Turns out the non-stop flight from LAX to Auckland that I thought I had decided it was never a non-stop flight and landed briefly at the Tahiti airport. So I got to spend some quality time at the airport. Yes, I would have preferred to have gone straight through to Auckland, but it proved not to be too horrendous an endeavor. There was a nice open area (I’m assuming for smokers) so you could sit out and enjoy the cool morning air; the wall prevented us from seeing the beach but we could tell it was close by the smell in the air.

We got to meet a few of the other couples that used the groupon deal there. I use the term ‘couple’ here only to describe that there were two of them, as was required for the groupon deal; although both couples we met that morning did appear to be in a romantic relationship . . . and then there was Tyler and myself – not awkward at all.

As we were talking with one of the other couples, something caught the corner of my eye. I almost didn’t even give it a second look except it looked like a chicken . . . then I remembered we were in an airport. So I did a double take, and sure enough, there was a chicken walking from outside and hoping up inside the main waiting area; searching, in earnest for any small piece of food that may have been discarded on the ground.

I feel like every airport needs a pet chicken.

The flight leaving the island was late by about 40 minutes, but we decided that it was not delayed, but rather running on Island Time. The remaining flight ended up being rather uneventful as well. Played some sudoko, read a bit, slept another couple hours – nothing really worth writing home to mom about.

The plane landed in Auckland almost 20 minutes early – kind of funny how they can make up so much time in the air. Clearly they build in a lot of room for error in the actual flying times. After a quick shuttle ride we arrive to the Auckland City Hotel and step into the front door to see a line of the remaining ‘couples’. In all, there appeared to be about 10 of us and, after glancing around the room at them all, every single one of them looked like they were in a romantic relationship except Tyler and myself – Again, not awkward at all.

A side note: I was starting to get a little concerned that we would end up running into these people the entire trip at restaurants and the different sites and not get to meet many new people because of it. But so far we have not run into any of them since check-in.

There was not a whole lot of time left in the day to do anything with any real substance so we decided to check out Sky City. Sky City is a series of restaurants, bars, shops a theater, and a casino at the base of the Sky Tower; which, at 328 meters (1,076 feet), is the tallest man-made structure in the southern hemisphere and 25^th tallest in the world. An impressive site for sure!

It is a sense of pride for Tyler and his siblings to be able to tell their dad that they gambled in a new location; but none of them really gamble so it usually consists of them going to the first slot machine or video poker machine and putting in $20 and then pressing the required buttons until one of two things happens. Either they lose all the money or five minutes has gone by and they still have not lost all the money so they cash out and go about the rest of their day. So I obliged Tyler and we set out to the casino at the base of the Sky Tower.

Tyler prefers the video poker to the slot machines as it involves a bit more than mindlessly pressing a button and watching three wheels spin randomly until they stop and then repeating the process. Unfortunately for Tyler, this casino only had slot machines and video roulette. We searched the entire casino for video poker and none were to be found. After checking with an employee to verify that this was, indeed, a true fact he found the closest slot and put in the money. Turns out that this go around ended up being the first option for Tyler and he was down $20 within 3 minutes – But he could now brag to his dad that he had gambled in New Zealand!

While Tyler was losing miserably at the slots, I decided to try my luck at video roulette. I’ve never played the game but I seemed to recall hearing some advice at some time that one should always bet on black, so I did. It landed on red – if I could remember where I had heard that advice I suppose I would have given them a stern talking to, but I still had money in the machine so I tried my luck on black again. It landed on black! Okay, maybe this advice was solid so I tried again – Black again! By this time Tyler had lost all his money and was observing my luck. So since he was waiting on me I said that I would try one more time and be done. Black again!

Look at me on a roll!

But I am not much of a gambler either, so I cashed out $4 ahead and we found a place to eat dinner. We sat down at Andy’s, a burger joint in the casino and as I was looking through the menu, my eyes stopped at the lamb burger. I mean I am in New Zealand, right? Known for their abundance in sheep. Seemed I would be remiss if I ordered anything but the lamb burger. Tyler agreed and we enjoyed a couple tasty burgers before we made our way back to rest up for our first full day in New Zealand.

A Merry International Talk Like a Pirate Day to Ye!

Ahoy and avast to all me mates and scurvy crew out there!  This be a day o’ good cheer and the smell o’ salt, she be thick in tha wind’s eye.  Arrrr, that be meanin’ only one thing; that it be time for me to plunder and pillage ‘cross tha seven seas ‘n’ back again!

Sure as it black’s tha white o’ me eyes, I am a man o’ sweet trade and tha joys from this holiday be better than a cannonball to tha gut!

‘Twould be me honor if ye were to join me in changin’ yer speech.  But alas, sure as I understand it be not easy to pick up a new language, I be here to offer me hand in joining me on such a venture:

Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day and I hope that you join me on this day to choose the most scurvy words you can find when you are with your friends, family and co-workers.  I understand it can be difficult to do such a thing and I’ve had many a friend, myself included, that has found themselves at a loss of words on this day.  So I am here to help!

It doesn’t have to be that hard, but if you are not careful it could easily end up being a day that you just say ‘aarrrrr’ a lot.  While there is certainly nothing wrong with this, I thought I would offer my expertise to anyone that would like to have a richer experience on this day.

While Arrrr, Argh or Yargh (depending on what pirate dialect you wish to speak) is a wonderful catch all term to use in just about any occasion, all it takes is a few other terms (most of them you already know) and you are good to go!

Do the Navy Seals signals, come on! . . . I only know the Air Force signals

 Probably the simplest thing you can do is replace ‘is’ and ‘am’ with ‘be’;  this be a quick and dirty way to show that I be a man of the seas!

The next easiest thing you can do is to drop the last letter in certain word; especially the ‘g’ in present participles and gerunds.  Arrrr, I be sailin’ for the high seas in the morrow.

This is also your chance to break out any nautical terms that you know.  When your boss tells you to do something say, ‘Aye, Aye sir’. If you are pointing out something to the left say port or port side and anything to the right is the starboard or starboard side.  So if Beyonce was a pirate she would say, ‘to the port, to the port, all that you be ownin’ be in a box to the port.’

A pirate does not <3 ANYTHING!

Nevermind, I'll pillage me own ring!  Arrr!

 Another easy thing to do is to call anything that you are eating or about to eat breadfruit or hard tack.  Yes, the sticklers out there will tell you that breadfruit and hard tack are specific items of food and to call everything you eat one of these terms would be like calling steak, potatoes, green beans and yams all oranges.  But to them I say, lighten up. This is just for fun.  If you take everything so serious you are likely to die of a brain aneurysm. However, if you take what these people say to heart than ‘belly timber’ is a good catch all term for food.

The final touches to any good pirate speak is the use of a couple catch phrases or sayings.  Take, for instance, the term I used in my intro, ‘blacks the white of my eyes’. All that means is that I am insisting to you all that I am telling you the truth.  But it sounds much cooler to say, sure as it blacks tha white’s o’ me eyes, I be prepared to party like a pirate!

So here are a few that you can use courtesy of The Pirate Dictionary, by TerryBreverton:

Paddy’s hurricane: calm, or quiet

Irish pennants: The results of lazy work

Born under a threepenny-halfpenny blanket: worthless

Piss money against the wall: To waste money on alcohol (As if that is possible!)

So with that, it be me sincerest hope that ye all have a most pleasant o’ days on this most sacred and holy o’ days ‘n’ may tha wind be always at yer back!

‘til next we be meetin’