I haven’t had a great attitude lately. I have felt a little frazzled lately and that
has led to a selfish and bad attitude.
This attitude has manifested the most with my Red Cross activities. For those that do not know, I volunteer for a
Red Cross Disaster Action Team (DAT) that goes on call once a month for a
week. In that week we let our manager
know what days and hours we would be available to go out on a call. Then, God
forbid, if something should happen to a person’s home during the times that we've
made known to our supervisor, we would be asked to go assess the damages and
make sure that this person’s or family’s immediate needs were being met so that
they could process the loss and focus on a recovery plan.
I have found myself giving fewer hours than I have available during my week and choosing hours that are less likely for
an incident to happen. Then I would hope
that I would not get called, not because I did not want anyone to lose their
home but because it was an inconvenience to me.
The last week I was about as bad as it has gotten; to the point where I
actually did not answer a call.
Grant it, I was in a hard sleep and did not get to the phone
in time. I looked at the phone number
(it was not in my contacts) and said I would not call back and go back to sleep
if no message was left.
See, I have been getting calls from people trying to sell me
crap and it had gotten to the point that I would screen any number that was not
in my contacts (unless I was on call for the Red Cross) or showed up
unavailable. If they did not leave a
message then I would not worry about it.
So I rationalized that if this caller did not leave a
message, then it had to be a solicitor and I was free to go back to sleep . . .
but I knew it was the Red Cross in my gut.
No message came and I went back to bed.
When I woke up in the morning, I looked at my phone and I
had a message. Crap! I listened to the message and sure enough, it
was my Red Cross manager. I
rationalized to myself that the call happened 45 minutes from when my available
time was up and supervisors aren’t supposed to call with less than an hour left
in your available time because no call lasts less than an hour and it would
therefore go past the time that you said you could be available. But that isn’t an actual rule; just a courtesy
that some managers give when they have the option.
I sent her a message explaining why I had not answered nor
responded to her message. It was all
true, but it was also just a rationalization to make me feel better about what
I had done. She called me a little later
and said that it had worked out and they had found someone to go out (a manager that wasn’t even on call that week), but she wanted to verify that I
would still be available for the remainder of the hours that I had given.
I said that I would still be available – I wanted to appear
selfless even though in my heart all I was thinking about was how inconvenient it
would be to have to go out on a call.
But they had already had a call surely the chances of another incident
happening were diminished. I was playing
the odds that I wouldn’t have to go out and still look like a good and
thoughtful person.
The odds failed me.
That evening the phone rang and I knew it was the Red Cross.
Crap! ‘You have to answer now, Eric. You
said you were available.’ So I did and
it was the Red Cross. A storm had blown
the roof off of a family’s house and the following rain poured into the house. ‘Man,
I really don’t want to go out,’ I mumbled to myself. ‘I have to get up early to
work in the field tomorrow and there is no way I will get a full night's sleep
now.’
A family had no place to sleep and many of their possessions
had been ruined and all I could think about was that I wouldn’t be getting a
full night’s sleep. I knew it was
selfish, but I didn’t care.
I got into the car and the song that was playing on the
radio hit me like a brick wall.
God doesn’t speak to me very much . . . at least not as
clear as the message he was sending me in this song. I was seeing with the
wrong eyes. I was feeling with the wrong
heart. Just like that, I had a better perspective and it wasn’t so bad that I
had to go out and take this call. In
fact it was a blessing that I was able to show compassion to this family and
help them through one of the hardest times they will ever have to experience.
It turned out that another house in the neighborhood lost
its roof in the storm too and I agreed to take that call too without hesitation
or even a thought of getting even less sleep.
Once again, it was more important to comfort a family that had just
witnessed the roof over their head literally blow into their neighbor’s yard.
And just in case God hadn’t hammered the point home enough
already, five hours later, as I was getting ready to pull into my house, that
song came on again. I stayed in the car
to let the song finish and reflect on the days events – thankful for the
experience and thankful that I still had a roof over my head to get my less
than a full night’s sleep.
Until next we meet.
